anatomica

daylightdreamer @ 2005-10-20T13:30:00

2005-10-20T20:43:49Z

Riding my books for ages through hills, alongside the ocean. It was a freeway. I was biking after someone, &it seemed symbolic. It was a boy whom I had a child with, but I didn't remember him or ever having the child. I was excited because I though perhaps we were in love, or could be. I was chasing him, but we seemed to both know where we were going, &we were going together. Perhaps I only thought I was chasing him.

Then I was in Monterey, with Emily. We were somewhere specific, and left. I forgot why. We had to cross this bridge that was only a tiny little place to walk and ropes on either side. I was trying to carry too many things &couldnt hold all of them and keep my balance at the same time. The groumd was a long ways away. I was practically juggling the things, and I lost my balance. Nothing fell. I hung upside down from the ropes, thinking, I'm strong enough for this. Emily didnt laugh or act scared or get mad at me or anything. She was silent &didnt seem to have feelings about all of it. I hung upsdie down, struggled for a while, and righted myself to some extent- i slid along the rope, not walking, but hanging from my knees. I kicked my things along. They felll off the bridge eventually, but when we got closer to the end &the ground was closer. I guess Emily naviated it without a problem. We ended up in Monterey, in an old part of town, the beach nearby, we were at a pub and trying to get back to where we were.

We had been in Hawaii, it had been impromtu, and I had seen several jewelry vendors selling things I wanted, but they were high class and probably expensive- maybe we wernt in Hawaii after all- but I had forgotten money. We took a cab, although we didnt mean to leave- i was afraid he'd charge us and I didn't have money, but Em said she did and I said I'd pay her back. He didn't charge, it was a free service. We walked back.

daylightdreamer @ 2005-04-10T10:49:00

2005-04-10T17:53:35Z

i lived in this room with alot of people. there were tons of animals. giraffes, but they got too tall and we had to take them back to the jungle. a black panther that i was scared of. a donkey. we started locking the panther outside cause we were scared of it. a tiger too. one day we were at the zoo and people were watching. we were supposed to have a routine, we had practiced it once or twice but not here, and we got confused about who and where too pass the mike to. clay was there, and will. they were riding a unicycle but that was part of the routine. clay and i missed giving the mike to each other and had to wait and come back. i didnt remember what to say except vaguely so i tried, just talking about they were doing. and the animals we had at other parts of the zoo. which iwasnt supposed to mention but i couldnt think of anything else to say. the people were on this elevated thing, on top of a buynch of water tanks and among trees. we had these tanks with huge snakes, or whales. we had this thing where you could sit in the tank with the animal you were afraid of. clive owen was there and he sat in a tank with a huge black water snake. i was petrified. we had a king-snake looking animal as well. i started screaming. i couldnt take it. i was so scared of the snakes. i ran away.

daylightdreamer @ 2005-03-02T09:38:00

2005-03-02T17:38:28Z

ever had dreams that come true?

daylightdreamer @ 2004-11-07T12:25:00

2004-11-07T20:25:37Z

DREAM: in a town on the beach. ON a rocky beach with two actors, the girl being nicole kidman. the man had just dissapeared,. to have an affair with another man. but no one knew that. he just dissapeared, and i had been watching some talk show where the female host had said; now this, this is what to do: just dissapear. so the man comes home, we're in the dark, no moon, on the rocky beach,she kisses him, touches him face, doesnt ask any questions. we're standing next to the water, like he came out of it, in a boat, or out of the woods behind us. she bends down, digs a little, pulls something out of the dirt and says, shocked, people have been here! someone was just here! and then later, down the same thing, pulls a small bottole of lotion out of the rocks. the man takes it and hurls it into the sea. denying that anyone had been there, like it was a deserted beach or an offlimits one. right before that, and asian girl on a surfboard surfed right up to the edge of where the ocean meets the land, wearing clothes, completely dry.

later im with another person in the back of someone's car, the seat for some reason, is really close to the roof, my head touches it and i get really cramped and really claustrophobic. then me and dad and another girl are at a dock. i have a black, new sweatshirt on that says Chabot, and im afriad people will recognizer me by it, at least the important people, but i close the strings &pull the hood tight over my face to hide who i am. we walk down the pier and everyone is just stopped, even inside the stores, standing at looking at us. i can feel their eyes on my face and i wish i had something more to hide under. certain people, i know, recognize me. we get closer to the end of the pier. dad's talking or something. i walk up to these two girls dressed in white, i have a full tube of toothpaste in my hand, brand new. from far away, i squirt one of the girls with it. i have the chance to leave now; but i stay. i walk up to her and do it again, then i rub it in on her face; i write HO on her whiter shirt. and walk away. then her father starts chasing me; dad and the other person run back to the car. for some reason, when i get to the end of the pier and try to run up the small incline towards the car, in the parking lot, i cant. im completely winded, but not tired, more like something had just knocked the wind out of me. iremember thinking ihad some disease or preexsisting condition. i feel like im drowning, looking at the car, but im entirelty incapable of reaching it. the girl's father is chasing me, he's an overweight bald man in a dark grey tshirt with a band on it. i look at dad desperately hoping he'll see the m,an closing in on me, but he doesnt notive and starts the car. then i see; the fat man gets into the passenger seat. they open the back door for me, i get in, and we drive away.

got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me

2004-11-07T07:50:02Z

DREAM! i was in a rink, and we were fighting, a boy was there it was Brian dagoni i think? and one or two other girls. they were videotaping and i watched myself. i think bri was there &she got tossed around but i knocked somebody over. i watched the video tape of myself, and i fought someone and threw them down on the ground &it was glorious.
DREAM! robert lived with us but he wasnt my brother,. Dad bought him a car, and brown mercdedes, and two seater, on old one. i was skating down past the hayward hills. there were all these hosues storing all kinds of junk outside and one woman who somehow lived in all over them.. a grey kitten with grey green eyes who didnt like me. laurel telling me she couldnt make it and she might move to china. and me saying id come visit if that was the case and i understood. something about driving on this road no the side of a cliff.

daylightdreamer @ 2004-08-19T12:08:00

2004-08-19T19:08:40Z

charles hitting on me, his sister with the breast reductions, would you date me for three months? i guess we'd have to see how it goes.

jeseka pushing me out of the way to use the mirror, she was stronger than i thought, us fighting and me couldnt get her down, and then i realized that and then i could. i threw her down on her knees. her prom dresses that didnt match, her looking so happy, our room was the backyard.

the water system full of drains and pipes, seeing a platypus, kindof like waterworld.

the tides coming down the srtreet, me dating the big tall gorgoues guy who didnt say anything, everyone said wow, we taking a long time to introduce everybody. nicole being there.

mom dying, me being sad, she was fragile. emily going to school and writing with chalk everywhere about mom, and lyrics from drops of jupiter.

me babysittng kids at our house, mom and dad asking me to call the parents and ask them to move their car from infront of our house. it was a white van like ours, but it was lowered and dad thought that people would think it was a gang car and come and shoot us. i refused.

daylightdreamer @ 2004-07-30T10:52:00

2004-07-30T17:52:30Z

I was at Zac's house from the swim team. He had a huge paintball field next to a lake. When I got home, Rob asked me How was it? Then I was on a battlefield. There was a scene/battle/attack that played over &over. A band of soldiers would come towards me &some other soldiers, &we would shoot at them, myself included. There was a grenade thrown, but it was paint. I would shoot them- & not feel guilty- but I would never be shot. Ryan was on the opposite team &he would always try to make it through the battle to come see me. Then the battle would be over, the other team would retreat, &he would try again. He &I both never got shot.

Before that, I was at Ryan's house with someone else, another girl I think. We were going to mess around with him or something. It was a nice house with a pool in the backyard, on the ground floor. Then Kyra came home- we didn't think she knew about us- but she didn't freak out, she just walked up to me &asked me to get out of her house, and then she walked over and kissed Ryan. She was weird looking, kindof like in her pictures but not quite as pretty. She was a little bit fat, with smaller boobs, weird poofy hair and not that pretty of a face. I left, and on the way out the door took Harun's hand (dont know how he got there) even though we weren't togther and I knew THEY knew we werent, but I just wanted to spite them and say SEE I have someone too.

Then i just remember me and Harun walking down some street talking. It was a beatiful street lined with stores and plants and vines. I saw Katy and her family in a restaruant though and me and Harun had to duck.

daylightdreamer @ 2004-06-13T22:27:00

2004-06-14T05:29:00Z

dream: holding Timmy Vbs hand, in a meadow, because I was happy to see him. Then letting go because I didn't want anyone to think anything was going on, I just didn't know how else to show him how I felt. Walking towards the light.

&another fucking dream about Ryan. Seeing him at the waterslides or something. Him approaching me &calling me later.... eventually telling me to decide between him &Harun.

daylightdreamer @ 2004-06-04T12:16:00

2004-06-04T19:16:15Z

Weird dream:
Harun &his family were over for dinner, &we were all sitting at the dining room table. No one knows that Harun &I are going out, I just tell Mom &Dad that we're friends. Dad or someone is saying something that makes me angry, &I stand up & yell at the top of my lungs "WILL EVERYONE STOP MAKING FUN OF MY BOYFRIEND!" &then I quiet down &explain that Harun &I are going out. Dad yells at me later, &tells me he's dissapointed in me, &doens't like me, &thinks I am an awful person. I tell him I feel the same way, but after I say that I privately regret it, because I know how much I love and respect Dad.

The other day, I dreamt I was at a boxing match/party, and I got drunk off of 3 shots, and then I got the one-person syndrome like Amanda does, and I wandered around looking for Jonas. Then, back at UOP (even though it looked nothing like UOP) I had forgotten my keys to get into the apartment that Harun and I shared. It was the beginning of the semester, and we had a new dorm number, an I didn't know it. I climbed up the outside of the buildng like a monkey, just to get to the callbox, but then i realized that I didn't know his number, so it was no use. I looked inside our window- the apartment was large &well-decorated- but Harun wasn't inside, although the lights were on.

someday we'll know

2004-05-18T20:02:11Z

Dream:
OK first I was Jim MOrrison's best friend. I had to take care of him one day when he overdosed on coke. I took him to the hospital. And then when I went to visit him there, I had to lie to Mom cause I didn't want her to know I had friends who did cocaine. I had to take the Jetta, because I didn't want her to know I was gone, and it was a stick &since I couldnt drive a stick I didn't know how to work the brakes. It was spinning in circles.

Dream 2:
Being an astronaut or something. Landing on this new planet/island. Lots of snow. I was just bumming around, not helping anyone. "Hey this is like Survivor!" I said, after everyone brought in some food- sea snails and the like. We had a sortof a house, and some dishes. We were next to a mountain covered in snow but also right next to the water. It wasn't cold next to the water. Then we went walking, and this hill moved/swung, and we could see this forest on one side, and the ocean on the other in the distance, and these animals coming in, whales, or monsters or something. I think it was an invading people group. I and someone else ran away. We passed this horse-carriage/train track in the forest- we were running on a nice, big open dirt road. We thought no one lived there? But it didn't surprise us. we came to a city. I was trying to figure out why half the island was so colonized &the other half wasn't. I think some of the people got tired of all the walls &fences. So I ran into this building to hide from the cannibals who were coming after us, and it was a museum of sorts, with a docent in there who was talking to some children, and he offered to let me try some sort of ride or experiment, and I remember running around, and then out, and up some stairs, and grabbibg some dead, stuffed animal to help me up/down the stairs because they were really steep. and thinking, they must have known people would do that.

daylightdreamer @ 2004-03-30T12:28:00

2004-03-30T20:28:39Z

I had this awesome dream! I was at this place with a pool- and there was this girl in there who took care of... the dolphins! it was so cool! &one of the dolphins swam up to me &gave me a hug! (if thats possible). It was awesome! &I was like... I love dolphins... I want to work with them for the rest of my life. There was a light-colored dolphin &a dark one. They were jumping around &it was gorgeous- but I was sad because their cage was so small!

&the streets only knew your name.

2004-03-26T09:04:20Z

I just started watching this amazing movie called "Waking Life." It talks alot about dreams. It'll blow you away- watch it!

♥

daylightdreamer @ 2004-02-11T10:04:00

2004-02-11T18:02:24Z

I had a dream last night that my propective student from last year, Brenda, was trying to kill me. She's tall &skinny, with braces &still wears 80s clothes... you know the type. Well... she was after me, &I killed her in sefl defense, &oh, she had the body of a snake, &I tied her up in knots. Haha. Then the police came.

Then I was driving through Santa Cruz or SF or some &I see this carosel on the roof of a tall building, &there is a sign that says yayannetteyay &I think, oh cool, that's where Annette lives!

Then I lived in this big house with all these kids, &our parents were old &sitting there talking about which ones of the kids were the dads or not...! Harun was my brother &we had a little brother named RJ, who would take Harun's guitar &pretend he was playing it, cause he wanted to be just like Harun- it was adorable.

&Then Cheech &Chong stole two of my little sisters bikes &rode away from the police.

daylightdreamer @ 2004-02-06T09:05:00

2004-02-06T17:03:59Z

dream about baby in house, it getting hit by what? bombs, lots of darkhaired sisters, me calling to as to take care of baby, I think it was Marley, talking ti Ryan online, oops I ignored him because I was making something for him &taking pictures of it, he said, bbl im gonna go order some chicken. me being in church, Bev Kavanaugh saying something about the way i looked at her, Ryan throwing stuff down on me from above to get my attention, all of us in this big room..... what were we doing? sleeping bags, Shannons? TV? I dont remember.

you're gonna die, clown!

2003-12-27T21:18:28Z

I was in this big wherehouse, with all these people &big doors to the outside- to cornfields. There was a monster with this big gross mouth &nasty teeth chasing me around, but for some reason I was really lucky.. first a car hit him, &then a plane rescued me or something. Then this big plastic, oval head rolled into the room, &its mouth would open, he would try to eat people- for some reason the face had a hypnotizing effect &people would voluntarily jump in.

Oh, there was this girl named Kylie, or something. She had pretty curly blonde hair, all twisted &done. It was gorgeous. She told me she was getting married in Las Vegas or something, &I got sad, but I said, who? &she said, I want you to come to Las Vegas with me &marry me...! &then I got sad all of a sudden, because I loved Harun, but I liked Kylie too.

All right, so I couldn't find anyone I knew, &everything was going haywire inside the wherehouse, so I found someone that I knew- Keri, the swimmer from UoP- &held her hand &followed her... she went inside the face. People kept diving inside &disspearing, & I thought that face ate them, but some people thought it took them to a better place. I followed Keri inside, - &there I found Kylie &one other girl. Before that, I was hurt or something, covered in plaster, &they were gathered around me, &I was so embarassed about how I looked I kept trying to do my hair or somthing.

Anyways, the 4 of us tried to situate ourselves so we couldn't fall farther into the face-it kept rolling around, &we knew eventually more of ut would open up &we would fall through to whatever was next. However, it was rolling downt this street, &I figured out a way to get back through the face- &then, you know how when you're hancuffed &you can bring your arms around your back, over your feet, to your front? we were tied somehow, &had to do that- but we got out!!!
Mom was walking down the street &I showed her. Then we saw the UoP library at the end of the street- but it looked radically different- all new agy. We asked this man, and he said it was 2076- 72 years ahead of the time when we had jumped inside the face! So the whole time while we were waiting for something to happen.... it did!

The man pointed us to up an Oriental-style house up on the hill, &said that Dr. Oliver Lynn or something, dealt with kids who had gone through that sort of time warp. We went up there, &he &his wife were just looking at two boys with problems, &they looked so &friendly, &then I woke up.

daylightdreamer @ 2003-12-24T15:04:00

2003-12-24T23:05:14Z

I had this dream the other night about me &three friends in a giant playground/treehouse. It was really cool, except these three guys kidnapped us &kept us there. For some reason, we were on our way to something important, &I was upset that I couldn't get away. I kept trying to escape but I couldn't.

heartbeat.in.yr.hand?

2003-08-02T05:52:20Z

i dream that people could see right into my heart,
&that i must pass lie-detector tests
to even enter an airport {&i always fail} &
you see inside me
{&arent pleased}.

but thats ok cause
my heartbeat maybe a little
_____irregular &out of tune
but its beating
+thats good enough for me

daylightdreamer @ 2003-07-30T16:59:00

2003-07-30T23:59:07Z

dream: mad because that guy in the blue hawaiin shirt kissed me; laying next to him. he had invited gays over but his friend got GUYS not lesbians &when they came in his ++++ was hanging out. i apologized to him but he just stared at me. i grabbed my viola [i had all these people over- my mom say &said, when se does that its serious]&ran [it all looked familiar] through the gate into carls yard, past a building, to a park [in my heels i wondered why i didin't fall or trip] the case was open when i got there [i was going to play my viola at the top of this big slide ]but i closed it &got to the top but i had thought that it was large on top- i like a room or a treehouse but it wasnt, it was just the slide.

daylightdreamer @ 2003-07-27T23:40:00

2003-07-28T06:40:46Z

weird tentacle thing having a baby. that huge house with the restaurrant but it was small &dingy on the inside, kids slept in reclining chairs &et al. lady in white showing a video of herself in black trying to seduce this boy/me [boy=me] in lace &she was taken or something already? i think her name was kristin. police finding the baby. wife was killed in bed? looked like mrs bugna./

daylightdreamer @ 2003-07-08T08:12:00

2003-07-08T15:12:10Z

We were in the ocean standing on a piano &it sank to the bottom. little person dragging a bike in the water, coucldnt figure where to meet people, tim cooper practicing in a band. john sowell in the water so dirty, next to bradpitt/mario/ryan who said he didn't like will but he was taking swin lessons from him. fighting those little people [?] paul dyter jumping through something? then we're safe cause peope all left.

daylightdreamer @ 2003-06-28T23:30:00

2003-06-29T06:30:02Z

i dreamed i killed jeremy. [one of my best friends.] how scary is that?

my house was on the beach &outside, all these people in a cult were gathering. then these other 2 people, a goodlooking woman + a fat bald man came into my house &said that i had seen a movie that was made by the KKK +so they had to punish me. so i killed them, &then after i killed the man [he had a knife, &was trying to stab me with it, &i stabbed it through his hand &then into his neck] i realized that the man i had killed was jeremy [although he is not either fat or bald] &woke up. how scary is that??

chuckie is not dead [yet]

2003-06-03T17:53:29Z

last night i had a pulp fiction-eque dream [which is strange, considering i detest that movie] &people were all pressed up against the fence in my backyard; i ran up; &then my neighbor pulled out a shotgun &shot someone; +there were several more murders, but the whole scene/dream i had twice, once where the actors were white, &once where they were black; [it was like a frickin history class; we were supposed to see how they were handled differently with each race] &in the end of the white-people-murder-scene they someone figured out that someone who was only as tall as a child had been the killer; &then there;s this knock on the door &a little kid walks in &everyone screams; he's got brown hair &brown eyes &he looks possessed; it scared me [&everyone else in the dream] to death. he came in &started talking to us but then someone woke me up [grrr] i would have liked to hear what he said!

dark have been my dreams of late.

2003-05-16T17:55:06Z

mk; two nights ago i dreamed I was in Yosemite or something camping with my family &friends. &this killer was roaming; he killed the president of my swim team &Colleen. I got freaked out. I was too scared to walk anywhere in the dark &kept looking over my shoulder. I slept in my car with the doors locked. The killer came up to the car and tried to open the door- I heard him- but it was locked, so he drove away in his rice rocket. &then i told dad that I wanted to go home. No one else was scared of the killer, but I was. petrified.

last night I dreamed that I was at a party with Alvarez &Harcos. We were chilling on the chouch &we started talking about sushi, & said I had never had any. they said, that if i wanted, they had 3 different kinds that they could throw on the grill in the backyard. i said, sure! so then for some reason we got in the car. i was in the backseat &Harcos was sitting in the middle while Alvarez drove. we drove past some of their friends &harcos leaned out the window with a gun &started quoting song lyrics. at first i was scared &ducked, but then i realized it wasn't a real gun &they were just playing around. we got to this house, of their friend called Pete Thatcher or something, who had a Plymouth Roadrunner-looking car in blue with his name on the back of it. we went inside, &Dan said that they used Pete's name when he got in trouble. haha. well we went inside, &then, there were all of Dan's friends outside with guns. i didn't know what was going on, but i took a little girl and went to hide upstairs. i felt a little foolish, but then, there were 2 huge windows upstairs &they saw me. Shapiro fired this huge launcher at me from outside. i saw little purple dots at the spot where it woujld explode. at first he hit the corner of the room; then i got him to hit the center of the room, by moving back towards the closet in the back of the room. the room pretty much caved in, &the shooters felt guilty &gave up. i walked downstairs with the little girl i had been holding [little blond girl who wasn't really that little] &this other little brownhaired girl who i found upstairs. &i was a hero.

daylightdreamer @ 2003-05-09T16:15:00

2003-05-09T23:12:04Z

i called ryan and then realized what happened and said ill call you later and left

I was learning how to skateboard and it went off the road into a river and I jumped into it but couldn't get to the edge of the river because it as moving so fast

me and Katy ha cigars we were gona smoke and we went over near mrs tedesskis house and then all these people came with two packs of cards and we were playing cards instead. our moms knew we were smoking and that was ok with them.

daylightdreamer @ 2003-03-31T11:57:00

2003-03-31T19:55:25Z

the dream I had last night was sad. One of my sisters- Emily I thinkk- was really attached to the family dog. he got hit by a car& Ididn't really care. it was a really big street. Mom &Julia were there too. [when my sisters are in my dreams, theyre so ambiguous, I cant tell who is who] we picked him up &his ear was bleeding. he was little, like Mom's dog peaches. we were in some building looking for help or something. it was like a temple. then, the street had a parade, &we jumped on a float to try to go get the dog some help. we were inside a train car &everyone was holding on. this lady had hugely long arms &was holding on to her son. I was holding on to her arm in the opposite direction but I wasn't falling. everyone in the car was like "its like antigravity!" then Mom was holding me &was like "Look I can do it too!" then I think we were packing things to send with the dog since he died &I took out 2 tapes, one about a clown &one about bad breath, they were in some sort of preaching series. haha.